Earned

They handed me gold 

And a ribbon to hold, 

And told me I'd done something grand. 

They clapped and they cheered, 

But it all felt so weird 

Like I stood where another should stand.

They called me “the best,” 

Put my name to the test, 

But I couldn’t feel pride in the sound. 

Like I’d borrowed a name 

That had earned all the fame, 

While I just stood stiff on the ground.

I try every time, 

With a hunger, a climb, 

To prove that I’m more than I fear. 

But the more that I get, 

The more quietly I fret 

Was I lucky, or meant to be here?

It’s not love that I lack. 

I have arms at my back. 

It’s not praise that I’m trying to find. 

It’s that deep, steady breath 

That can silence the rest, 

The one where I'm sure in my mind.

So I chase and I try, 

Without knowing just why, 

And I smile when I’m told I’ve “succeeded.” 

But I long for the day 

When I quietly say, 

“I earned this. And that’s all I needed.”

Written: 2025